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Nothing at all. So, I shall not name the divorced male protagonist of this story. A corporate professional in his mids, he married his girlfriend seven years before this story begins. The relationship withered away in less than three years, leading to separation, followed by divorce. Divorce is difficult enough to deal with alone. But prying people can make it worse. An introvert by nature, this man had become reclusive after the script of his marriage wrote its last few lines. For a while, he sat and stared at the mist of smoke billowing out of a burning cigarette on the ashtray. He had known for a long time that many unhappy marriages ended in divorce in modern-day urban India, unlike earlier.

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Sima Taparia in a still from ‘Indian Matchmaking‘. Rupam, a divorced single mom, is effectively told her child (the very daughter she wants to Practicing hyper-individuality to stand out on dating apps is disenchanting.

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My parents’ india was arranged. Things would be different when I came dating and I needed to learn to accept that. It doesn’t work that way.

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For Hindus, marriage is a sacrosanct union. It is also an important social institution. Marriages in India are between two families, rather two individuals, arranged marriages and dowry are customary. The society as well as the Indian legislation attempt to protect marriage. Indian society is predominantly patriarchal. There are stringent gender roles, with women having a passive role and husband an active dominating role. Marriage and motherhood are the primary status roles for women.

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Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. It is a form of courtship , consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others. The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time.

While the term has several meanings, the most frequent usage refers to two people exploring whether they are romantically or sexually compatible by participating in dates with the other. With the use of modern technology, people can date via telephone or computer or just meet in person. Dating may also involve two or more people who have already decided that they share romantic or sexual feelings toward each other. These people will have dates on a regular basis, and they may or may not be having sexual relations.

This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement. Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology , dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine.

As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies , there have been substantial changes in relations between people, with perhaps one of a few remaining biological constants being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen. Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being tournament species , in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and pair bond arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life.

However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction.

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Your spouse is just a set of qualifications to finally one-up your neighbours or your rival at work. Stagnant social mobility, casteist educational institutions and economic inequality glom together to create families, neighbourhoods, schools, colleges and work places where everyone has similar incomes and wealth, lifestyles, intellectual interests and ambitions. In other words, the metrics of compatibility all conspire towards upholding oppressive structures.

Practicing hyper-individuality to stand out on dating apps is disenchanting, having your personhood disregarded completely is no better. Marital rape is still legal in India.

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Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty. In the most extreme case, a year-old prospective groom named Akshay Jakhete is practically bullied by his mother, Preeti, into choosing a bride.

Indian Matchmaking smartly reclaims and updates the arranged marriage myth for the 21st century, demystifying the process and revealing how much romance and heartache is baked into the process even when older adults are meddling every step of the way. Though these families use a matchmaker, the matching process is one the entire community and culture is invested in. Director Smriti Mundhra told Jezebel that she pitched the show around Sima, who works with an exclusive set of clients.

Yet the show merely explains that for many Indian men, bright, bubbly, beautiful Nadia is not a suitable match. The parents task Sima with following multiple stringent expectations. Some are understandably cultural, perhaps: A preference for a certain language or religion, or for astrological compatibility, which remains significant for many Hindus.

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